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Indian Funeral
- Channel the grief into creativity. Write, draw and talk about your feelings and thoughts. Write 'poor me' letters or poison pen letters that let you vent all the bad feeling about the past relationship. Write love letters where you pour out the love that you've had in the past and might still be lurking somewhere in you.
- Use the 'empty chair' technique. Sit in front of an empty chair and imagine the one that you need to talk to there. Be it your ex-love, god or your own feelings. Talk to that person or thing, expressing everything that you want to say. Yell, blame, cry or do whatever you need to do.
- When you feel as if you are 'stuck' in a feeling or thought, try counting, either in mind or objects you see. You might feel 'unstuck' either at 20 or 200. but keep counting until you do.
- Direct your focus outward. Go for a sensory walk where you look at the world a little more intimately by touching and smelling objects.
- Put on your favorite music and act out your inner feelings through expressive movement. Direct it towrd yourself or God.
- Learn a form of meditation. It teaches you to command your attention.
- Let the inner grief flow by turning on sad music and cry to your heart's content.
- See a counselor, a close friend or talk to your mother. Anyone with whom you can talk openly about what's going on for you.
- Express your anger. You might find it helpful to pound a pillow or to strike a photo. Simply scream out your rage. Do vigorous physical exercise, dance or jog.
- If you are facing sleeping problems, then one of the best remedies is a glass of orange juice.
- A massage is a wonderful way to unwind. Relax, reduce stress and pamper yourself. This helps satisfy your hunger for touch.
- Hang around with people who are expressive, caring and give lots of hugs, touches. Ask for them when you need them.
- This is a tried and tested way. Do something good for someone else. Volunteer for social work and offer time for community service.
- Watch funny movies, videos, read jokes or novels.
- Escape to Mother Nature for the most assuring comfort.
- Visit the self-help books section of Barnes & Noble or any other bookstore. Find a book that offers you the healing that you need. Sit at a table or in a big chair surrounded by books and read a section right in the store.
- Check out support groups.
- You can also make a tape of your version of a relaxation script. Otherwise buy a relaxation tape and use it regularly.
- Do not throw away the pictures and other items which might remind you of your spouse. Put them in a box or tuck them away. Your children may or may not like the memento of their other parent around. Leave that choice to them.
- Rearrange the furniture and change the lay-out of your house. Make the house yours. Reclaim it.
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