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Indian Divorce
Denial:
It is unbelievable that the relationship is over and you contribute to it. You strongly believe a mistake might have taken a primary role somewhere.
Shock:
Pain, numbness, out of control, craziness, mood swings, panic, rage, relief, optimism, freedom, despair, anxiety comprise some of the various emotions you indulge in which may carry along for a few months.
“How will I survive" (financially, emotionally, physically, etc) will be the first question you ask yourself. Fears that comprise the intensity of feelings to be unlovable and never to be in a position to love again grip you which make it difficult for you to come out of the pain. This could even haunt you for the rest of your life. Apart from feeling panicked about the future you are apprehensive about what others think of you.
Confusion/Rollercoaster:
An amalgamation of feelings, thoughts and questions revolve around your mind and never seem to settle down.
It is of utmost necessity to gauge what went wrong? What were the consequences responsible for the tragic situation? Did true love really ever exist in our relationship?
Your mind will invent consequences to sense what went wrong. Your imagination may run wild and you may either hold yourself or your spouse responsible for whatever happened. All others including your work, kids, in-laws even God will be a victim of your blame. You end up judging about people and life.
What exactly went wrong will keep intruding all through your life. You anticipate your incapability to come out of it.
Incompetence and inadequacy take a primary turn ultimately landing you in depression. You find yourself weeping for little or no reason at all even if you don't anticipate to do so. You may land up gauging that your depression would never come to an end.
Hope and bargaining:
A desire followed by a belief enables you to apprehend the reconciliation of the relationship. Various procedures resulting in healing the relationship will be taken into account. The challenge involved in this particular stage is to be apprehensive that the other person will never be under your control regardless whatever you do, say, think and want.
Letting Go of the Old Relationship:
Realize and don't hesitate to accept the fact that the relationship is truly over and can never be sorted out whatever the circumstances be. Even if you continue to co-parent you should accept that the relationship will be completely different than that was previously. The groundwork for forgiveness would include naming, claiming the injuries, blaming, balancing and finally choosing to forgive in steps. It would enable you to liberate YOURSELF from the past.
Growth and emergence:
Gradually the rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions bent out. You find yourself liberated from the past anxieties and worries. You desperately long for a new beginning and view things in a new perspective. You become extremely dedicated towards your work and your kids if you have any. You eagerly crave to rely on someone who would lend emotional support and bring rays of hope in your life. You tend to be very cautious in your new relationship and would prevent to give any space for misunderstandings. |
